Perfect Love

 

Through my work, relationship issues have come to the front.  Yes, true, seems they pretty much always have, but more folks are wanting the ultimate union.  I wish I could say that the perfect love/relationship was out there and you will go off and live happily ever after.  While true, that does happen for some, but for others, we arent there yet.  We have issues/baggage we carry around and if we do not deal with these inner demons they can cause discord in our lives.  This is why it is so important to be responsible for self in all of our relationships.  We have to take care and our issues and not subject them on to the one we are claiming to love.  Relationships offer a mirror to self.  We instantly see in another what we do not like within ourselves.  Michael Ruiz covered part of this in his book “The Four Agreements”.  We have to stop blaming others for things we have issues with.   If we want balance and love we have to be that.  Gandhi wasnt off when he said, and I cut his quote down, “Be the change you wish to see in the world”.  It is true.  But we actually have to personalize that.  I spoke in an earlier post about walking your talk.  This is so very true.  We have to be true to ourselves..and this is where it starts. And you know, some times we have to part ways.  Be mature about it, seeing how things truly are, looking at it through eyes of wisdom of the heart, not eyes of  hurt or fear.  And some times you just need a break to gather yourself and heal yourself which is completely fine.  The problem most have is they think some thing is wrong with the other and they think they can fix it.  First of all, when you go into a relationship thinking something is wrong with the other person, how can you claim to love them completely for who they are?  You can NOT fix anyone and you shouldnt even think that way period!  People have their own growth to go through and I promise you that if your having problems with it before you marry them, you will be having tremendous problems with them afterwards!  Loving some one should be unconditional.  Now that does not mean you have to agree with them nor does it mean your supposed to be living with them or even be with them.  Starts with you!  You love and respect yourself so much that you do not allow others to disrespect you.

We get into relationships for different reasons and most are not the reasons we should get into relationships.  We get into them because the sex is good.  GREAT!  But there has to be more.  Sex is a wonderful thing and an awesome expression of love.  What happens when your not having sex?  Trying to have a long term relationship based completely on that will not bring the balance you are hoping for.  Sex is to be shared and not used.  Maybe we get into relationships because we figure we cant do any better??  WHAT?  Why would you do that to the other person and yourself?  That means you are desperate, meaning some thing is missing in you meaning you need to figure that out before involving another person!

We have to start accepting ourselves exactly the way we are.  We have to stop listening to society telling us something is wrong with us because of this, that and the other! By no means as I saying put up with abusive situations.  I am saying this if your having the issues, deal with them maturely and just because you love some one doesnt mean you are to be with them!

THE FOUR AGREEMENTS

1)  BE IMPECCABLE WITH YOUR WORD (Say only what you mean!)

2)  DONT TAKE ANYTHING PERSONALLY (What others say and do is a projection of their own reality)

3)  DONT MAKE ASSUMPTIONS (COMMUNICATION is key!)

4)  ALWAYS DO YOUR BEST (can help you avoid self judgment, self abuse and regret)

~ by TerraRubrae on November 26, 2011.

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